Finding Happiness & Overcoming Traumatic Events By Getting Clarity on Your Life's Roadmap

Finding Happiness & Overcoming Traumatic Events By Getting Clarity on Your Life's Roadmap

Roadmap2you Life Coaching

My name is Anna Shpilsher. I am the life coach behind Roadmap2you. As a life coach I help women thrive after divorce. Divorce is a life changing event that can leave you very disoriented. I help women start feeling happy again, find their new identity, get clarity on the next steps and ultimately create a road map to their new fulfilling lives.

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I'm your host Jenna Redfield, and today we have a special guest anish Belcher. She is a life coach at roadmap to you. And I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you for being here.

Anna Schpilsher 1:27

I am thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me. Yeah, for

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 1:30

sure. So you are a life coach for women who want to thrive after divorce?

Anna Schpilsher 1:36

Yeah, right. So how did you get into this? It stems from my personal story. And I can start from the beginning. My mother, my sister, and myself. We immigrated from Russia back in early 2000s. And I had this dream of a house, a family, children, and a job, corporate job. And it all happened, and I didn't feel happy. I had everything. I had this, you know, American dream, I had a really good job. I had two healthy children, a husband, and it just wasn't it. And I was thinking, well, maybe I have more children. Maybe I get a dog, maybe I need another cat. And I kept looking for these things to make me feel happy for these external, you know, things. And eventually, at some point, my marriage fell apart. And I thought, Okay, well, now what now I don't even have the standard, you know, how it has been children. And I felt so, so unhappy and cornered in life that I decided that I am going to find a way to feel happy. And it was a long in a short journey. At the same time. I didn't know what to do. But I knew life must be about something else. It's not about being sad all the time, miserable, confused, looking for things to buy to eat, there has to be something else. And that's how I started connecting with people. I had a therapist and I hired a coach. She was instrumental. She was everything pivotal to my my personal success, and then deciding that I want to do the same for other women.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 3:29

So you had a coach as she local or was your mind? Yes, no. Oh, yes. No, I love Yes. Now. She's been on the podcast. Yeah, yes. So she is great. Check them out, recommend going to her? Instagram, I'll link it in the podcast. But so you went to Ghana, and you learned about yourself. And so now you kind of did you learn from her that you wanted to start your

Anna Schpilsher 3:52

own business? or How did you decide I never ever considered myself a candidate for running a business for being an entrepreneur I loved I loved the stability of your nine to five, you know, your paycheck is coming every two weeks. And I just didn't think I have the creativity, the resourcefulness, anything to run my own business. And I actually came to see us now for this what I said, I'm not happy, make me happy, do something I'm not happy. And as we as she kind of dug through all my things, what I really want is to understand why I can't be in a relationship after my marriage fell apart. And she kind of made it clear, like I'm not a relationship coach. But let's talk and then when we started going through all the things, all the weight that I had, it wasn't really about the relationship it was about, do I love myself, first of all? And do I? Do I draw this joy? And you know, the all these amazing feelings from being in relationship? Or do I have to become that first? Give that to myself. And that's not what I came for. That's why I'm so in love with life coaching, it's, we think it's going to be one thing. And then we dive deep will let this person guide us and it's a whole world. Yeah,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 5:20

I've met a lot of life coaches in the last few years, I actually went to an all day workshop for coaches on Saturday. And it was all about different types of coaches. So health coaches and business coaches everything. And it was so interesting, because a lot of the coaches they they like to ask questions to you. So it's like, I felt like I was getting coached at this workshop. I bet you were. And I every time I meet a life coach or someone, they always asked me the most interesting questions. So how did you learn from that point that you decided to be a life coach? How did you learn how to be a life coach?

Anna Schpilsher 5:52

I realized through coaching, and I also participated in a number of workshops, where I realized that I like to help people, and I want to be of service. I want to be the person who shifts your perspective who like contributes to your life. Yeah. And I didn't know that it was necessarily going to be life coaching. I remember talking, calling my best friend after one of the workshops and saying, I think I want to help people. It was so weird, because before that the focus was I want to be successful. I want a really good job, I want to get paid well, where I knew that is it does bring you joy. It just it's much shorter. It's you know, it doesn't last as long and you keep searching, you keep pulling this thread, you could keep buying things, you keep looking for things. But when you give, and you see that person how they light up, and then they call you they messaged you and they say this, this change everything. And it just it carries with me for a long time.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 7:05

So it has that lasting effect that does you say success in the traditional way, does it? Yes. Yeah. I think that's so true about a lot of entrepreneurs. They leave their corporate jobs to follow their passions. And I think that that's what sustains them as a person and a business, I guess.

Anna Schpilsher 7:22

Yes. It's amazing. It's an amazing discovery. And I'm noticing more people leaning that way more people find long lasting joy in serving others. Yes,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 7:34

I think that is very true. And what is the what is the part that really brings you the joy? Is it the changes that they make? What is the thing that makes you excited about that?

Anna Schpilsher 7:44

Such a really good question. I think I've always had this teaching nature. And my mom once said, You are a healer. And I dismissed it, because it has such a war concept to it. But I think now it comes to I love watching them. Question what I say? And just kind of like, well, I don't want to be positive. I don't want to lie to myself. This. This isn't true. I don't want to do this. But you keep explaining to them. And then they take it on. They tried it works. And they're speechless. And then I see myself in a couple years ago being the same way. And now I know what kind of changes that brings. And I just like I feel this, like I'm going for a ride with you. Yeah. So how? Because you were

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 8:38

coached first, do you teach your clients how to be coached? Because I feel like that's something that a lot of people they they're like, I maybe I'm not coachable, but I feel people tell me things and I listened to them. And then I just keep going on. And my gosh,

Anna Schpilsher 8:50

everyone is coachable. You hear the same things a million times. But then one person comes in, says it, and a certain way that rather resonates with you. And you feel like oh, I've never heard this before. Where you have it just didn't connect?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 9:06

Yeah, I think it's it's it's more of being willing to make the changes and also being willing to listen to somebody,

Anna Schpilsher 9:14

you're absolutely right. You can coach someone, all you want eight hours a day, if they're not ready. If they or if they don't believe in this work. It's not going to make a dent. And it's going to be a frustration for both parties. Yeah.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 9:29

How do you find your clients? Or how do you know who's the right client? Because sometimes people aren't the right client, they don't, you know, gel with you or anything? How do you find your clients? And how do you find the right client?

Anna Schpilsher 9:38

Absolutely. Most of my clients have been word of mouth, which blows me away, because like any other entrepreneur, I do advertisement, I post a lot of content. But all of them come through people who I either coached or who I've never coached, but they just follow my Instagram or my facebook or my blog. And then they have someone who could benefit from it. And they share the content.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 10:09

Yeah. So it because you kind of focus specifically on divorce.

Why did you choose that specific? I know you went through that, but how did you choose that as an actual,

Anna Schpilsher 10:17

because I walked like you said and walk that path, I know what I used works. And that gives me the confidence that I can really relate to these women in these situations. And I know what to do. I've tried it, it works. And now many of my clients try it. And

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 10:36

so I'm like almost all of your clients divorced or? No.

Anna Schpilsher 10:40

Okay. It's It's It's interesting that sometimes you get someone who's not divorced, and they want help on other things. And I do take on clients who are not necessarily, you know, looking to thrive after divorce. But it's it's a little different work.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 10:58

Yeah. So what are the major things people come to you for when they're coming to a life coach? What are the things they're struggling with the most?

Anna Schpilsher 11:05

Number one, I am not happy? And I don't know why. And I have everything. Family, I have education, I have five degrees, I have six digit income, and not happy I'm running. I'm participating in all these events. I don't know what's wrong.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 11:24

And what would you say most of the time is the issue that a lot of people have.

Anna Schpilsher 11:29

The issue is that we are we're doing all these wonderful things for our children for ourselves, looking for joy. But it's a it's a misguided, so to speak search, you want to know what are your top things that you need to contribute? To feel good to feel joy? So we do the work of figuring out what actually is really important to them? versus what we're for everyone and their moms?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 12:00

And what are some of the things people find

Anna Schpilsher 12:04

quality time with their children with their husbands or significant others? personal time, clarity, being content, on busy in their life? Saying no more often so they can do nothing.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 12:23

Yeah, let's talk about saying no, because I think that's something you're mentioning people doing all the things are going to all the events. I know that wears people out pretty quickly, but they still feel like they have to say yes. How do you how do you I guess teach someone had to say now? Or how do people learn how to say no,

Anna Schpilsher 12:39

we figure out their top values. And it's a simple process, and everyone is able to do it. And then I say, when Monday comes or the next day comes and you get an invitation to another wonderful event, you look at your values. If you fail, you are you know being home three or four nights a week or being with your children that you can't fit third or fourth event. It's a no not because you want to hurt someone else's feelings, not because it's not important. But because your value is, you know, quality time with your children. And then we look what if you don't? What if you say yes? What is the cost, you're going to feel guilty as a parent, or you're going to feel overwhelmed if you're not a parent, and you're going to all these, you know, wonderful events and gatherings. But that is not what brings you joy.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 13:33

interesting is that what most people would say is that the time home with their family is what they enjoy.

Anna Schpilsher 13:39

That's what I'm finding a lot. A lot of people say it's it's it's quality time, it's quiet time its reflection time,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 13:50

how does that work? are a lot of your clients entrepreneurs, or are they full time? Or their most of them are full time? Okay, yeah. Okay. Cuz I'm, it's interesting, because I think it's harder for entrepreneurs to have that balance, because they do need to go to those things, you know, those workshops and, you know, networking events and stuff. So if you have had any entrepreneurs, how do you talk to them differently?

Anna Schpilsher 14:14

I think, you know, what is the end game?

Unknown Speaker 14:16

Um,

Anna Schpilsher 14:18

yes, you can go to 100 events, and you are going to be further ahead than someone who went to to NH month, but are you going to be burnt out? Because if you are, then you can't can't go further? Yeah, that's a really good, I really like but does it require stretching? Yes. Like, I think I'm in this phase right now to wear my ideal, and I am such a data nerd, like once a week. If I go out, that's my max. If I go out twice a week, then I am. I'm starting to feel anxious that things are out of control in this is too much. And I'm super busy. But with running your own business, and I'm also I still hold my corporate job, huh? I tell to myself, okay, I can go to one event. However, I can stretch a little bit and go to to it's a way to decision.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 15:10

Okay, yeah. Cuz I think that people always never know what to say yes to a note to because there's great opportunities, but I think I like the idea of once a week. I mean, that's a good, like starting point.

Anna Schpilsher 15:20

And it's different. It's so different for for everyone. Some people thrive on the social engagement and connection. And I completely understand that. And that's why it's so important for us to know what you thrive on what puts you on a balance, and it happens very quickly. Do you believe in the idea of

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 15:41

a work life balance? Yes,

Anna Schpilsher 15:43

yeah. And I believe in building your business within that balance right away. So if you never want to work on Sunday, you don't have clients, you don't run anything. You start with the

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 15:57

habits that yes,

Anna Schpilsher 15:58

when you first start, you think frame it right away. Some things are deal breakers. I don't want to work both days on the weekend with my family.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 16:08

Yeah, and I think that's so true. And I think it's harder probably being for the divorced women who maybe don't have someone else to take care of their kids, you know, if they're trying to get to these events and stuff. So how, how are these women able to kind of be a single parent, if especially if they're, you know, some of them may not have kids, but like, how does that affect them?

Anna Schpilsher 16:31

This is my motto. And I was a single mom, a true single mom when there isn't co parenting for a couple years. And I did everything I could I have my job. I got a job that wasn't very flexible in the beginning, but I just was adamant about it. How about one day I work from home? And then how about two days, and then I was allowed to come in a little later. So a job that's flexible. And then I had my network I had the green parents, I had the the pain babysitter, I had the neighbors, you figure out you do everything you possibly can. Yeah, and you go for it. Even if it's one thing a week you do it, you keep going?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 17:13

Yeah, let's talk a little bit more about some of the emotions that happened after you go through doors, because I feel like there's probably that's probably where people come to you at is like, I'm recently divorced, or I've been divorced for a while and I have all these emotions, and maybe don't know how to move forward with my life. What are some of the things people come to you with for that?

Anna Schpilsher 17:32

One of the common things is that they are not there, they're their families are not full families, they're damaged, so to speak, there's there always has to be, you know, a mom and a dad and two children, and that's perfect, and anything else is less perfect. And one of the traps that I found some women is that they also believe that you have to be with your father's children to be really, truly happy. And when you're divorced, when that page is closed, and you can't go back, it's we're setting ourselves up for the no win scenario, you can never win since you can never return that Marissa,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 18:17

how do people get through that? I mean, I think you probably help them with that, that thought that they can't, they're broken, or their families broken. I mean, obviously, a lot of people have to move on from that, and maybe remarry, or, you know, raise their family alone. How do people get through that?

Anna Schpilsher 18:38

It's, there is a way there are many, many ways I figured out one way you basically question everything, and you go by does this serve me? I was a true believer that I can only be happy if my children, you know, my ex husband and I are together? does it serve me? And what is the outcome? That means I can never be happy? I'm messaging that in a lot of ways to my children, which wasn't something I wanted to do,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 19:06

how many kids you have to to how old? Are they

Anna Schpilsher 19:09

to 12? and seven.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 19:10

Okay, so how have they been affected by divorce? And how does that affect the people, the kids of the divorced women that you work with?

Anna Schpilsher 19:19

There's, without a doubt, an impact on everyone involved. And depending on your situation, whether your ex husband or ex wife, if they're in the picture, that's one scenario that you work through. And I feel like that's easier, in a way. For children, it may be harder for adults. But I also think for my children who had to just, you know, the pitch, the dad is out of the picture, they had to put a period in that chapter. I tell them, that adversity is everything. And now that they've lived through this difficult event, which I don't tell them that it's a difficult event, I tell them that adversity, that they are so ahead in life. And the idea that we have to go through life without any kind of complication, hardship, sadness, it doesn't serve us. And we know by looking at everyone around and that our lives, that is not true, will always face half the time will be happy and half the time. Something else so true. I think

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 20:31

I think honestly, that that's really true statement is, you don't know what happiness is without the sad time. You know, it's like, I feel like a lot of the people that are going through really, really hard times they see the joy in it when things are good. You know? So is there anything that you feel like was hard to get through for you, but you got out the other side?

Anna Schpilsher 20:54

Yes, this is so personal, what I would love to share it. I didn't think it anyone would want to be in a relationship with me knowing that I have children who and then there isn't the dad. So it implies that this person has to take some responsibility for the children. And I didn't think anybody would want that.

Unknown Speaker 21:18

And how did that end? All that was totally wrong.

Anna Schpilsher 21:22

And I'm happy to tell all these women who are listening if you're in this position, thinking that way, isn't doesn't serve you. It's not going to bring you the result that you want. It's not going to attract that man who, who loves children who doesn't mind stepping into the father's shoes and who wants a family?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 21:43

Yeah, I think that's a good message of hope, because I think I'm sure a lot of people go through that. And that's so cool. So we're gonna take a real quick break for ads, and then we'll be right back with you.

This episode is brought to you by anish Bowsher. She is the founder of roadmap to life coaching. Her practice is focused specifically on helping women thrive after divorce. Using proven life coaching methods intended to help clients get unstuck and back on the path to happiness. Her program includes discovering where you are today and why identifying and aligning with your values, understanding your obstacles, a guide to better decision making, increasing self awareness and thought slash emotion management, are you ready to take that first step to a happier more fulfilling life. If so visit and his website roadmap to you calm, where she offers a free 30 minute mini session to learn more about her program and see if it's a fit for you. For those that sign up. She also offers a full refund if you don't find value after that first month, that roadmap the number two y o u.com. Calm roadmap to you life coaching, find your happy patrons. Members, I am so excited because I am launching a brand new service. And it is Instagram at management and photography, I will actually come in and manage your entire Instagram account from photography to posting to using the right hashtags. And following the right accounts. This is something I feel like a lot of people in our community are looking for. And I'm really excited to be able to offer that now as a service within Twin Cities collective. In addition to that, I also am offering consulting. So if you're just needing a little bit of help, and you want that one on one, sit down with me to talk over your Instagram and come up with a plan I do that as well. So if you want to head over to Twin Cities collective, you can see all the different services that I offer. In addition, I also do individual stock photography that is for your brand. So if you need an Etsy banner, or any type of photography, that includes products, I also do that as well. So I hope you guys check it out on our website.

Alright, we're back from the break with Anna and she's a little bit more about some of the things that she offers as part of her business. So you said you have a freebie that you have on your

Anna Schpilsher 24:09

website? I do. It's called the 10 thoughts that will change your life. Whoo. And it's, it's amazing. I strongly believe this concept of what we think becomes the everything that exists today at once was a thought was discovered. Yeah, was once I'm not sure every invention. And I've learned this model where thoughts create our feelings that drive our actions and results. And I've checked it on myself, it totally works. It's fascinating. It's the woman who created is brilliant. And that is one of the things that I coach, my clients on and I to your earlier question, I do teach my clients to self coach, I don't want them to depend to be dependent on me, I think our relationship, our coaching relationship is there for 123 more, three more, three or more months, but usually shorter than that. And then they're off doing their own thing coaching themselves, and independent from working with me.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 25:23

So how often do you work with people? Is it let's say you it's a timeframe? And then how many times like a week or

Anna Schpilsher 25:28

I work? Currently, so it's twice a month? Okay, every other week? It's about an hour, an hour and a half? Don't keep the clock goes? Well, it goes until it goes. Yeah.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 25:40

And so what do those sessions look like? Is it you asking them questions? Is it them talking? What's kind of

Anna Schpilsher 25:47

it's definitely combination, I want it before I barge in with my teachings and frameworks, I want to know where they are and how they present their story, their struggles? And then we go from there.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 26:01

So with the thinking and the thoughts, what are some of the negative thoughts A lot of people have? Or what are the things that you teach them to think differently?

Anna Schpilsher 26:09

It's different for every person, but some of the common negative thoughts would be I don't have money. I didn't sign up for this. I didn't choose this life. I don't think I can do this are some of the common ones. And I know when we say them, we truly believe them and all of my clients and say, I have proof of this, this, this is true. I don't have any money. But if you keep saying, I don't have any money, how does it make you feel? desperate? Not enough, not successful, then when you feel that way? When you practice that feeling over and over and over? What action Are you going to take, maybe you'll turn down a job, maybe in a certain conversation, you'll come out negative or bitter or resentful and you turn away a person who could be who could offer a potential opportunity. And then your you end up with proof not having money. Yeah,

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 27:11

that's such a mindset shift that you have to make is because yeah, you attract what you kind of put out there. Because I was at this coaching thing. And there, I'm not going to name names, there was a woman who came up with a very negative energy towards me, and I was like, Well, I would never hire you. Like it was just kind of a thing where I was like, okay, she's putting out all these worries and struggles and things when she and just met her. Like, okay, I can see where your issues are. Like as a coach, if you can't even figure your own self out, I think. And I think that's why it's so cool that you have kind of you've gone through it. You can relate to your clients, because you've kind of made it through the other side. And now you're helping people and you have gotten your mindset straight. So how did that happen? Like, how did you? How long did it take? I'm still working in progress. I don't want anyone

Anna Schpilsher 28:01

to think I'm all done. And and just, you know, I've figured it all out. I don't have all the answers, but I know how to get them

Unknown Speaker 28:09

the framework for getting

Anna Schpilsher 28:11

the answers. Yeah, that's what I teach.

I've lost track of the question.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 28:18

I was just like, how did you how did you get there? Like

Anna Schpilsher 28:20

how long did it all okay, so it's always it's like a wave. First you learn one thing, and it really sticks and you practice it, it could be a month, it could be a year, and then something else opens up. And you're like, I think I can take that on that actually makes sense. Let me try it. In some things like working out. We know it's good for you. We know it feels good. But we, when we step out of it, we find excuses. And then for me, it's always questioning what am I doing? Why am I not going? Why am I sabotaging myself. And that's actually one of the things I'm super proud of. I don't have to make myself go to the gym. Because if I'm not going then back to this thought model, what am I thinking? Huh? It's too far it's too cold. If I think it's too far, it's too cold. It's I don't want to sweat. What am I gonna do? I'm not gonna go. How about, you find the thought that feels really good. And that you believe, such as maybe you can think back to when after workout, you felt like a million bucks. You hold on to it, you massage it, you practice it. And then you go, and you show up. And you show up and you you practice a new way of thinking. And sometimes, sometimes I don't choose a thought that really benefits me. But I know. I know. It's not my fiance's fault. I know, it's not my children's or my jobs. I know I chose not to go I choose to think something that didn't really help go in.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 29:52

Yeah. So so you kind of talked more about like, the feeling that you get after working out like the, like the positive have it versus like, I don't like that kind of Right.

Anna Schpilsher 30:03

Right. So you find whatever helps you I know, for me, when when we talk about working out, it really helps me to think I'm even envisioning myself walking back to the changing room, and how it feels I feel like the most successful person in this facility because I came and I worked out and I sweat it and I feel good about myself. And then you practice that versus I really want to practice watching movies. All of it is like a muscle.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 30:32

Yeah. So is that something that you teach people how to do? Okay, that's part of your framework,

Anna Schpilsher 30:39

that is part of my framework, it is part of this thought model that drives everything in your life. If you look at your life today, Jenna, yeah, everything that you have, is not accidental. It's a result of the thoughts that you've been having. Had you thought that you don't think this, you know, Twin Cities collective would be successful, you would not have taken action, but something you knew some thought that you thought made you feel like, okay, maybe excited, maybe hopeful, maybe curious. And then you took action from that space? Yeah.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 31:16

I think a lot of people in our community, that one start businesses, it's just an idea, and they don't take action on it. How do they get from thought to action? First of all, what is the thought that drives you not to take action? That's the question. That's a good one, huh?

Anna Schpilsher 31:33

Yeah. And then you say, Okay, I don't think I can do it. Or, I don't know if it's really valuable. That one is number one. I am in a lot of a valuable Yes. saying like, who is gonna read me? Who's gonna benefit from this? How can I make my six digit income to replace my current job? Or I want, I only want to run a business that will scale. But in my experience, any kind of business can skip you can scale life coaching business, yeah. But I always say, you have a list of credentials, you have skills, and then there is a scale, what brings you joy, you really have to make sure not only not to go for what you have skills for, but what brings you joy, then you can scale, then you can stay in it for a long time, then you don't have to feel like it's a job.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 32:28

Yeah, that's so that's such a good point. I think a lot of people, it's like, what's the thought that's stopping you versus the one that's starting. And I think that a lot of people tend to have those, especially women. And I think that's kind of who you coach is like we've always been taught that like men are entrepreneurs are certain things, you know, certain things where it's like, we weren't taught the business side of things, or the tech side of things, I think that's always a really strong one is I don't know how to do it. That

Anna Schpilsher 32:56

kind of one that comes I don't know how to do it as a big one. And you don't have to know all the steps, you just need to email this person and connect with them. That's enough. That's enough to get started. Or this is a book, or I'm going to join this Facebook community, which is a click of a button away. And then that's you give yourself just one step. I just need to take one step consistently. One step one step.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 33:22

It's one step at a time. I mean, I didn't grow towards this collective in a day. It looks like it. I know, some people join it. They're like, how did you do this? I was like, it took two and a half years like of my life, you know? So it's like, I've spent every day for the last two and a half years building this. So when people come to me, and they're like, well, I want to do that, too. I'm like, well, you gotta have two and a half years of your life, you know? And that sounds overwhelming to people. But it's like, you have to realize that nothing happens overnight. Sure, there's people that are successful overnight, but that's rare. You know, I love that you say because when I found Twin Cities collective I thought, okay, overnight success. I need to connect, what am I doing wrong? No, I mean, I, I still don't feel successful most days. I know, that sounds crazy to everyone. But I have certain levels of measurement in my head where I feel like if I don't hit them, I'm not successful. And so I think that's true with anyone, no matter what level you're at, I bet Oprah feels this way. I bet everyone feels this way. And I think it is something you have to learn how to overcome those negative thoughts

Anna Schpilsher 34:26

of I'm not enough recognize them, right, recognize that. They're just thoughts and say, Okay, if I think I'm not successful for a very long time, I am going to become not successful. That's not what I want. Now, what can I think? How about, I'm still figuring it out?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 34:42

Yeah, that's a great one,

Anna Schpilsher 34:44

or I will show up every day, no matter what, to no applause to nor recognition, to no client feedback to no reviews. I will just show up for a year. That's my job.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 34:54

I think that's, I think it's and it's the hard part is is sustaining that thought. And I think the hardest part for me is I have these highs of like, yeah, I feel great. And then the lows happen. And it's like, how do I get back up? And then how do I sustain it?

Anna Schpilsher 35:08

lows? What if these lows were supposed to happen? What I'm it's part of the journey or any journey, they are supposed to happen? You recognize them, you said, that's fine. You I can have my own, you know, low moments, but I'm still going to show up and do the podcast.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 35:27

Yeah, I think that is something I am pretty good at is getting through those negative thoughts. And just being like, I still got to do this, no matter what. It's like I feel I, I think the thing that I keeps me going is I feel a something where with the audience I have, it's gotten so big, I feel like a responsibility to them.

Anna Schpilsher 35:46

And I have to say, when I found your Instagram or Facebook, I was thrilled, there really isn't a milestone like this for us entrepreneur.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 35:55

There is an amazing, that's why I think it's grown so fast to is it was such a need. And I saw it I was one of those people where I had a small business locally. And I was like, Well, I don't I found people through random networking events. But I want to share with everyone else how to find these people to oh my gosh, and so that's really what keeps me going is, is I look at the person I was two, three years ago, and I'm doing it for her.

Anna Schpilsher 36:19

And so what if you could go back? What would you tell your future two and a half years?

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 36:24

Um, I guess nothing because it all worked out. You know, I think I think I had to go through the unemployment through the I don't have any friends moments of my life, which I was very hard to go through. But I feel like now it's like, if I hadn't gone through that I don't think Twin Cities collective would have been what it is because I have such more of a understanding of what people's needs are. Because I went through it myself. And I feel like that is more of a driver for me than anything. It's like I could want fame and success. I mean, that's not something that I would say no to, but it's not the reason that I'm doing it. You know, I if I had 500 followers, I would still do it, you know, because it's like, I would be affecting 500 people. And to me, you're successful. I know your ways away from your goals. But just because like you said, you're doing it, not for the followers. That's That's great. And that's to the side. But it sounds like you're actually enjoying the building. Yeah, I do think that's the key. Yeah, cuz I always look at followers as people, those are all people. And I think people just want the numbers and it's like, I want the 20,000. I'm like, but do you actually know any of those people? Like, I love the fact that the people that I see following me or liking my stuff is people I've met people that I feel like I've had great conversations with and they're the ones that support me, above even people that haven't met me yet. And I think that's why I love networking events is like, the more people I can reach out to the more I feel connected to the audience that I'm building.

Anna Schpilsher 37:56

Now, I'm such an introvert.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 37:58

Okay, there's a lot of entre printers that are online that are introverts. You're not the only one. And I'm sometimes pretty introverted. Sometimes I'm pretty extroverted. Oh, I love it. Yeah. So how do we connect with you? How do we sign up to work with you? How do we do all that stuff,

Anna Schpilsher 38:14

you can sign up at www roadmap to number two u.com, or my Instagram or Facebook that have the same username? a roadmap to you? I think the best way to connect with me would be through my website, I have a free mini session that you can try me out we can meet and decide if we're a fit. I if I know I can't help you. I don't Yeah, sign up.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 38:43

Yeah, that's true. I think it's good knowing who's the wrong person? Right. You know, it's like it work. Do you have it? Like, do you ever like refer them to somebody else? At that point? I do.

Anna Schpilsher 38:52

Yeah, I was gonna say I do if I love especially if I connect with the person I love them. I will always offer I know a lot of coaches and different areas. And no, I'm the only one in helping women thrive after divorce. So I have no problem. I don't feel competition. Yes, there were others. I just think we're helping each other. And there's enough for everyone. That's

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 39:14

a great way to think about it. Because I think a lot of people struggle if someone is in the same field. And they're like, well, I don't want to, but I'm like, What if I'm too busy? What if you know, they're doing something more specific? And I you know, like, for example, like I always send people to my web and graphic designers, because I'm like, I don't do that. But yet, we're kind of in a similar field. So it's like, I'm just like, I'll send them to whoever

Unknown Speaker 39:35

and they will do the same. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 39:37

And I think that that's the power of networking and referrals is like you need to meet the people that you can send people to,

Anna Schpilsher 39:44

you know, that's a really good thing to say I have to write it down.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 39:48

Yeah, well, we can listen to this back. So thank you so much for being here. And your Instagram handles everything, I think did you mention those? Yep. I just want to make sure double check that I got everything. So thank you so much for being here. And I'm so excited for everyone to listen this episode.

Anna Schpilsher 40:03

Oh, me too. Thank you for inviting me. It was a blast. Awesome. Loved it.

Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 40:07

Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, and I'll talk to you guys next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to the Twin Cities collective podcast with Jenna Redfield. Make sure to click subscribe if you haven't already. And make sure to leave us a review on iTunes. Thanks again for Ian at Studio Americana for producing this episode, as well as Melanie Lee for designing the podcast art. And thanks to Nicole I had less for the use of the song in the intro outros. Thanks so much again, and I'll see you next time.