Live Podcast: Aligning To Your Passions, Overcoming Business Struggles, & Stopping the Instagram Comparison Game
Thank you guys so much for coming. This is our first ever live podcast. I'm so excited. We have an awesome panel. I'm so sorry I've been.
So this is actually our hundredth episode. So that's why I decided to do a live episode because we hitting 100 episodes. This is also a panel of former guests that did awesome on their episodes. So I invited all of them back. So I'm really excited. I guess. I don't know if I should introduce you all are you want introduce yourselves. I'll probably kind of just go through the line. Katrina. Katrina whiner, she is a life coach for entrepreneurs, right? Yes. Entrepreneur coach, and we met two years ago. I don't know. So yeah, we've known each other for a long time. But she's been super helpful for me. And she had an amazing episode. Late last year, I think. And then we have Lori photography, as I call you.
I had I literally met Laura the day that we did the podcast and it was so awesome. And her episode got such good feedback that I was like I have to have you on for another episode. Another episode. And Jasna Burza. You've known each other for over a year now is in her mastermind last fall, and her episode made me cry. I remember crying. And so I was like, I gotta have the first that made me cry back on the podcast. Yes, so awesome. Well, we are also here because of studio Americana, which is the you can see Mike over here. He's one of the producers, and then Ian back there. He is the head of Studio Americana. That's where we record all of our episodes every week. It's in Golden Valley. If you guys want to learn more about that, Ian can talk to you after the episode. But thank you to them for getting this all set up. This will be going live on Tuesday. So you can actually listen to it again, if you you know, want to take notes or something. That's why we're doing it live. So I have a list of questions. But I think you guys could all just introduce yourselves to get started. I just kind of quickly introduce you. But yeah, if you guys want to get started. So like she said, my name is Katrina. I am an entrepreneur coach here in the Twin Cities. And I primary
Katrina Widener 3:00
We focus on helping entrepreneurs feeling really empowered and find community and growth within their businesses. So I also run an entrepreneur Book Club, which I always forget to mention.
And that is basically just another community and a way for us to kind of learn and grow together. So
Laura Rae 3:18
hey, my name is Laura. I don't have as long of an introduction. I'm a photographer. There's many hats underneath that, but I'm in a Broadway photographer, and I help with social media branding for companies.
Jasna Burza 3:31
We need to talk.
Hi, everyone, thank you so much for being here. It seems that everyone is at rise this weekend. Yeah, and we're comparing the Rachel Hollis so I feel pretty good. Right here. Thank you so much. I feel very honestly very honored and very moved to be here. To me, I just wanted before introduce myself. Twin Cities collective I think means something really important for all of us in in in our area and the Twin Cities.
There is something happening, there's something in the water, where we're really seeing, like, the possibilities for all of us. I want to do these amazing things. And where do I go? Where do I get started? How do I meet people? And what you have done is absolutely incredible. And I know we all do, we all we all agree. So I feel I feel honored and humbled and just so grateful for all of you for being here and for trusting yourself enough to take the steps that you need to take to really create the life that you we all know is possible, right? The life of of possibility. So my name is Yasmina, Borgia. And you can call me Bob.
That's a long story. And I am a life and business coach and have been doing this for 11 years and the last few years, I've really have kind of pivoted toward the business coaching. And I really, I'm obsessed with helping entrepreneurs make money. So I love the money. I love making money, I enjoy it profoundly. And I think that people really struggle with it. And it's never been easier, I think, to make create an incredibly abundant life if we know what to do and how to do it. So I really have a incredible passionate about that and people being visible out there putting themselves out there. And it's really not even about the growth. I'm really going to it but I'm really excited about this is just about really getting to know who you are. And I run an upper level together mastermind that is literally my first baby.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 5:31
So I love it. I was in the mastermind last fall, it was amazing. And Katrina was in the mastermind this spring. Yeah. So so it's super great. You should definitely ask me about it, I guess. You should, you should definitely ask her about that. Because it's it was definitely life changing for me. And I think, yeah, it's just great to connect with a small group of people. And you're doing one for couples, too, right? Yes, indeed. So if you're a couple Awesome. Well, the reason I invited all three of you is you guys have all made your life into a business like you are now doing your business full time, I wanted to ask you about the things that got you here and how you got to be, I guess what people would consider you a successful whether or not you consider yourself successful. So what do you seek success as an entrepreneur or as being your own boss, you I want to start, I can go.
Katrina Widener 6:27
So um, for me, success is less about like, I'm making this certain amount of money, or I'm doing x, y, z. For me, I really learned that when what I'm spending my days doing is aligned with who I am and my true personality and my true values. And I'm able to comfortably support myself and to dream big and to think big and keep moving forward constantly. That's what I see success for me being whether that's my personal life, or my professional life, or really in reality, both of them put together, it's being true to who I am, because then I don't feel like I'm living a life that I need to escape from. And that's what I talk about a lot. And so it's like, instead of coming home from a long day of work and eat a glass of wine, my success is actually like, I'm living a life where I don't feel like I need to do that. That's great.
Laura Rae 7:19
For me, I think it's so simple. And I've been able to like dissect it and like, think about it a lot. And for me, it's really just my ability to give. And for me I feel like the gifts that I have like the more capacity I have to do things for others, whether it's something like this where I'm like, Hey, you all get to learn from like, how I get up in life. things that I've done, like the good things that I've done, but I've how I've looked worked hard to get there like my ability to give to others whether that's knowledge that I have, whether that's like buying someone flowers, like I got some flowers the other day just like being able to do things for others and that for me doesn't have a monetary value. But as you said like when you can get to the end of the day, and you don't feel like you have to have a drink though whiskies usually something that I love to have good day or bad day. If I can go to bed and be like hey, I did something for someone else. That is a great measure for me I'm like my success and how I'm doing in life and business.
Jasna Burza 8:16
So good I it's so interesting. I'm third is going to be a really interesting battle. It's it's all of those things, but it's really living my purpose. For a very long time I looked for what what am I supposed to do? I said, I knew I'd be very good exceptionally good at it if I only knew what it was, and what the heck was it and I was a yoga teacher and a fitness instructor and I tried everything. And and he just landed and I for 11 years, I've never looked back and it's really living my purpose. It's what does that Gary Zhukov call Does anyone know when you're something meets your personality?
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 8:52
I know what you're talking about, but I don't
Jasna Burza 8:53
Okay, well reference it. But it's really, it's who I am at the core, it's making an impact. I feel like when I This may sound a little whoo, whoo, for
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 9:02
all of you.
Jasna Burza 9:04
We have Katrina here.
But I think that when I am being a channel, when I'm really let my Atlanta Get out of the way, which sometimes can be really ego, what I want for me, I want the money, and I want the success and recognition. And I've gotten all of that. And when you strip that, then you find it's the little conversation that makes someone cry. It's a little conversation that shifts the needle is someone feeling better at the end of the day. So for me, it's literally I may have the crappiest day. But when I connect with someone and I'm in my element where I'm like truly being of service. And they you know, when you can just tell this is really ruled by you like there's like they just started radiating. I can go home and I just feel full that I can be full with my children. I can be full in my husband. And it's full interpretation of my soul and who I am.
Katrina Widener 9:55
It's interesting, Jenna, because it seems like you have created a panel of all enneagram two yourself included
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 10:03
Katrina Widener 10:05
But I'm assuming you're also enneagram two
Laura Rae 10:07
maybe I've never taken the test
time Oh, I'm learning so
Katrina Widener 10:10
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 10:12
The helper yeah. Yeah, that's so funny. I never even thought about that. Maybe that's why like, we all found each other. That's awesome. Oops, oops. But okay, so. So I guess, do you consider them that success in life and as an entrepreneur, the same is that different? I guess
Laura Rae 10:30
for me, it's similar success for me is the capacity and the ability to give and when it's my business, it's giving to my clients. It's giving to other entrepreneurs. It's giving to like people in the community. But when it comes to like my family, it's like giving time to my boyfriend in the future. Like it's giving time to my kids, when I have those. It's being able to take my dog for a walk or say yes to someone last minute being like Laura, I've had a rough day like, Can we grab some coffee? Yes, if I have the capacity and ability and being say yes to those things is like Alli appears very good at like scaling her business. And she has a lot of people working with her and for her. And so she's able to say yes to other things that she really loves, because she has someone else on our team taking care of something. So that is just how I as well, like, pursue my why and my Yes, and how I define my success. So
Katrina Widener 11:20
I agree completely. And I think for me, too, I have
created my business so that I don't see it as like, this is my life. And this is my business, my life is part of my business. And my business is part of my life. And they're so intertwined. That it they have to all connect, it has to make sense in both ways. And yeah, it's it's being able to give to my clients and give to my friends and family members and be able to really fulfill that innate desire that I have in every area of my life.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 11:53
You're good, okay.
Um, one thing that you we kind of been talking about is the the highs, the successes, let's talk about the hurdles, what has been the biggest thing you've had to overcome? And how has that affected you and maybe made you stronger?
Katrina Widener 12:12
Jasna and I were talking about this before we started talking basically, before the podcast started. And I actually trained with Jasna when I first became a coach. And we were reminiscing about like when I was at the point where I was like, so afraid to be openly vulnerable with other people, which is not even anywhere close to my personality now. But that was even just like two years ago, like I was terrified to go on Instagram stories, I was terrified to show up in a certain way in front of other people or be perceived as something and I kind of had to really just be like, you know, I'm letting all of that go. And who cares what people think because I would rather be liked for who I truly am, or hated for truly who I truly am, then liked or hated for who I'm not actually creating my business, because it's so tied to my personal life was so intimate and vulnerable, and me really having to be open to the entire world that I kind of just like,
I'm doing this. And I haven't looked back.
Laura Rae 13:19
I think for me, my business difficulties and like a personal difficulty. When it comes to business, hands down. It's been like paralysis by analysis. So like thinking of like, Oh my gosh, like, I want to be an entrepreneur, what the heck does that mean? Like? What does that mean? to like, be a photographer does that mean I also need to be my own like accountant and like, do taxes and like, what the heck is invoicing? Because I just want to be with my camera. And so it would be like paralysis by analysis. And what that means, essentially, is like, you have all these things you have to do and you don't do anything. Because like, what the heck am I supposed to do. And so I learned, you just have to start, you have to pick one thing or like make a lesson list and do one of the hardest things first, or just like just start. And like, as I said on my podcast that we had, like, you might be scared of pursuing something so that paralyzes you, but like do it scared, like, don't wait till you're ready, because you're not going to be I'm still not ready for what I'm doing now. Like, what am I doing? Like, oh my gosh, I think I've got this, um, and then when it came to and so comes to like, my personal life, I'm dating someone now. But the last six years, I was single, like, one by choice into like, it just was not working out. You guys. Like I couldn't find someone. They weren't finding me. I don't know what it was. But we're in such a world where people were like, Oh, so you're like, you live by yourself and like, you have a business by yourself. Like you're traveling by yourself. Like, what's wrong with you? Or like, do you have friends and as much as I love to say like, that was a really easy part of my life, because I think social media comes across and that way sometimes, man like it sucks sometimes, like I would come home from a really long wedding day and be like bawling in my car. Like,
no one loves me like call my mom, I like midnight.
She's like, you'll find someone someday. And I'm like,
No, I won't
and having those conversations. But like, honestly, in my personal life in recent years, that's one of the more difficult things that I've had to go through. And I don't think we open that up for conversation as much because we're supposed to be strong. It's like, No, I'm independent, but it's fine. And like, I am an independent woman, but like, I want someone's like a home to and be like, Oh my gosh, today like I do need that whiskey or that like a glass of wine and talk to someone. And in a world where it seems we all are in the pursuit of something else. with someone else. It's hard to be in a place alone. And so making that space like for myself that was like comfortable and okay to be at was not easy worth it. Because I learned so much about myself. And now I'm with someone who's incredible. If I would have like, Ben without those other guys, I wouldn't have met him. But it doesn't mean that like makes that process any easier. So
Jasna Burza 15:55
Oh boy. I think that if you really want to know what is insanities, you should start a business. I have gone through so many different. I've been in the business for so long. So I think when I first started, it was like I was the weird person and like, what the heck is a life coach? That's how I started, people didn't even know what it meant to start a business. So was real loneliness and being weird. And being called out is weird. And people not understanding. I think some people may still resonate with like, I don't, why don't why don't you just go find a nice job in a cubicle. That's what my mom tells me, every time my mom still does not know what I do after, after a decade. So it was really the loneliness of figuring out like trusting myself enough on some of those things. And I, as it evolved, it was delegating, thinking, I don't have to do my own website, I don't have to do everything by myself, there's actually like, I should pay others. And that was really difficult because initially I was like holding on to every dollars, like you know, this is my income at to pay 30% in taxes, this is crazy. All of these things, any was really trusting that the business is going to be abundant, and it was going to grow. And then there's just all these multiple changes. But the biggest struggle, this is something that's on my heart right now. And I'm very open about is that I have two small children and I get very overwhelmed. In order to have a full team I have a very fast growing business multiple different companies and I feel that I get I want to give it my all but my family is my priority. So I really struggle because in order to grow your business you have to be all in you can have i can i can you can have
but I feel like we have to go all in if you're growing something you should use it you're not going to have I think it's much traction. And at the same time I my happiest when I'm in my children. So I'm really struggling with with growing and that type A personality, like I want to grow the business and be build the biggest building in town and saying like, I really want to have a date night with my husband and spend crazy amounts of time with my children. So it changes is very up and down. As we all know, we've seen the graphic where it's like the journeys all over the place. But I think it changes what I would say is whatever the challenge or the biggest fear at the any given time. That's precisely what you're supposed to overcome to get to the next level. So don't avoid it. If you've been putting yourself on a video is uncomfortable. Do it just say the faster you rip off the band aid, the better you will be because that's where the growth happens the most. So for me, I think the greatest gift is not the money, which fabulous each one becoming in the process like learning about myself and like oh my god, this is I never uncovered this part of my I know about you, but I think it's very empowering. So that would be pretty much the biggest
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 19:15
clip for us. So going with that what is your what is the reason that you decided to go all in and become an entrepreneur? What was it like the leap? What was that point where you're like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna go all in.
Unknown Speaker 19:32
Like I just didn't say that's what I'm going to.
Laura Rae 19:34
I don't work well for other people. And yeah, I don't I'm just being honest. Like I do not I like feel suffocated. When I micro-managed I like I'm add to the point like I was in a cubicle, I'd be like, what are you doing for lunch? Like, what are like, where are we going to go out, and I did not do well in like school and college, honestly, like I was a straight A student at best, and didn't ever understood why like how my brain works is not conducive to like taking tests, like I just shut down. And so I got to like the end of college or like, most of the beginning, like, long story short, was at the end of college kind of started over again. And once I started over again, I was like, wow, I like it's okay to know what you're not good at. It's really okay. In fact, that's great. And it's okay to be honest with yourself and say like, Hey, I don't work in an environment for others. And what I believe is you either are going to be hired by someone else to help them pursue their dream, or you can get out and pursue your own dream. And I was like, Okay, I'm going to go pursue my own dream. I don't have to listen to other people and like, paralysis by analysis kicked, kicked in. And I'm like, but now what do you do, and photography for me kind of like evolved from there. And I was like, it's something that I'm passionate about. So even if I don't find monetary success, like when I first started out, I was in a 250 square foot apartment, and I was just paying my bills by like, barely paying my bills by like doing photo shoots, but I'm like, bottom line, I don't have to answer to other people. And I'm doing something that I love. So I was still just as happy then, as I am now. So it's kind of like where it started. Like why it started for me. And it's okay to be honest with yourself and say like, Hey, I'm not good at like listening to others, or it's okay that my sister works in a lab at Mayo Clinic, my sister thrives in an environment where she has a checklist that someone else puts together for her. And that is fine. We are like polar opposites. But we're both very honest and like, totally okay with like who we are as people. So know what you're good at, know what you're bad at and pursue something that you're passionate about that like plays into your strengths. It's a great answer.
Katrina Widener 21:42
For me, it was
a little bit more personal. I had had a hell of a year, my mom had been going through breast cancer, and I was at a job that I absolutely hated. And it was like coming up coming to work every single day was slowly like, actually, I was probably depressed, like slowly killing me. And then basically, I was also in a relationship that was not supportive, not the right place place for me to be at. And so I basically had to make the decision to change what was going on. Otherwise, my normal personality, the things that keep me going, the way that I move forward in life, was slowly going to get lost. I was becoming like an anxious, overwhelmed person, I was not happy whatsoever. And so I actually called the asthma and I was like,
Hi, what's a life coach? Like, I think
Unknown Speaker 22:35
I'm going to do something else. But it was one of those situations where I was like, Okay, I distinctly remember the moment I was driving to Iowa to visit some friends, I'm listening to a podcast in the car. And this person was an entrepreneur, and they were talking about how they were doing something that they felt fulfilled by every single day. And I was like, I want that I want to feel fulfilled, I want to do something that I'm excited to work on every single day. And it also really connected to me because that entrepreneur was doing something that was directly helping other people. And she was like, This is what keeps me going. In the days when it is really hard. And I am really lonely, right? I'm really struggling. I have this other person that I'm helping and that provides a motivating factor for me. And so I was like, Okay, great. These are things that I absolutely am excited about and passionate about. And I want to help other people. So what do I want to do helping other people? And I kind of
Katrina Widener 23:25
went down the rabbit hole of like, well, I could be a psychologist, but like, I don't want to go back to school.
And I could be a social worker, but like, could I really leave those situations at home at the end of the day? Or would I be taking work home with me every single day? Because as Jenna knows, we've talked about I'm an empath, I will definitely be feeling your feelings. If you're crying, I'm probably about to cry. And so it was one of those situations where I was like, Okay, so what is the life coach, I don't even know what this is, maybe I'm interested in it. And I worked with the asthma, it was totally what I was supposed to be doing. And I basically made the decision. I was like, I remember remember telling her this, I think in our very first phone call, I want to be out of this job by the end of the year. And I was and I had gotten to the point where I was like, maybe I'll just stay here and they're like, actually, it will give you severance if you leave. And I was
like great. Sounds good. Okay, this is that's a very big sign.
Unknown Speaker 24:18
But it is something where I'm like that it it basically was literally life changing. I had to do something, or else I was going to continue on the path of my life, that would have been fine. I would have been fine. But I don't want a fine life. I want to life I'm excited about.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 24:35
Okay, that's awesome. Jasna
Jasna Burza 24:38
I really admire you so much for like having the bravery and insight at how old were you when you made this the shift.
Laura Rae 24:47
I was 21
Jasna Burza 24:49
Oh, my goodness, oh, what I mean, that's that you're such an old soul. I did not have that. And I way like, I think that's so beautiful. But that's real. That's an incredible gift you have, you know, know thyself, like that's something that I feel like I've come to and in my old age, I'm not old, but it's getting there. But I for me was really personal in that very many knocks and how I wish that I had that, like, that's what a gift what a gift, we'll have to talk about that. But I actually have started coaching, five years before quitting my job. And, you know, it was just this full full thing. And I really thrived on part of my identity was succeeding in corporate America and having a title. And without a title. I didn't know who the hell I was. I'm also an immigrant. So I grew up in a refugee camp. So for me being here and making six figures being super successful selling software, I was living the dream, like I had nothing to complain about. And then I support my family, and my husband's family. And it was this joy, I felt really good. But I kept looking my entire life, I look back for a tiny life, I was always a tool. I was always a helper, someone people could come to, and I genuinely care, I care more than I should. But I really, really care. And I just didn't have that insight or the bravery or didn't even know what was possible. It's kind of like, you know, you can have whatever you want for dinner, I didn't even know that there was an option kind of thing. And for me, I started dabbling with coaching, I was reading everything about positive psychology there there was. And it was, you know, a friend said, I get more of these conversations, and I do from therapy from 10 years of therapy. So like, I feel like I should pay you. I'm like what you can get paid for this. This is really interesting. So he planted a seed in me, but it wasn't until a personal loss for me. So I was working, I was doing sales selling software. And I had lost a child. And it was looking back, it kind of makes sense. Because I wouldn't want to come in that kind of environment of high stress. Is anyone here done sales. It's such high stress, you're only as good as your latest quota. And it was killing me. And I had ended up having nine miscarriages. And it was just loss after loss after loss. And I'm thinking and the doctors telling me you're never going to have children. So for me, that was the, you know, effort moment, if I'm never going to have children, then I might as well give up because it was the insurance or just the ability, all the things that mothers think about right. And I just wouldn't enrolled in a graduate program for coaching. And the moment I walked into the room was like, I've come home has anyone had that moment you walk in, you're like, oh my god, this is it. I that was a decade ago, I've never looked back.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 27:49
That's so inspiring that you all have like that reason. So we only have one or two questions, and then we're gonna open it up to the audience. I'm really excited about we've never had a live audience been able to ask questions that they want to hear the answer to. Hey, guys, are you enjoying this episode the podcast, make sure to take a screenshot post it to your Instagram stories and tag at Twin Cities collective and will repost it. I'm so excited to share that Twin Cities collective has a brand new one on one coaching program that takes just four short weeks. This program will educate and walk you through how to have a growing and consistent Instagram that will attract new clients sales and promote your brand or business. This program will help you to feel confident in planning and strategizing your posts, creating meaningful captions and hashtags that will captivate your audience, you'll be able to continue to post on your own and not have to hire out your social and you don't have to spend hours a day doing it. Get this dress and time spent doing it lifted off your shoulders. Today's collective is growing our Instagram to over 15,000 local followers with these methods. Interested in learning more as well as about our one session Instagram audit, head over to Twin Cities collective.com forward slash Instagram dash coaching, or click the link in the show notes to sign up for a free call. Now back to the podcast. The final question or two I'm going to have is how did you decide to specifically what you wanted to do aligning? figuring out like your niche? How did you decide? Like you probably went through a bunch of iterations of what you are into what you are now How did you get to that point where you are specialized in what you're doing? I think
Laura Rae 29:33
for me, like I took time to answer that question, as opposed to like, jumping into corporate things. I knew it was a question that like I wanted to answer before I jumped into like, adulthood, like, I didn't want to just jump in I realized in college I was like, Well, I was three and a half years into my elementary education degree because at the core of who I am is a helper a two and I was like, my natural progression was like I can be a teacher, I can be a nurse know the only ways I can help people wrong. And I was two and a half years in and almost ready to like, graduate and I was like, whoa, hold on. This doesn't feel right. And at that same moment that I was feeling that I got my student teaching placement. I was a semester away from graduating, I was with my on some Lake Superior and their five sisters. And they were talking about childbirth and how it had changed their bodies. And they've been through everything from miscarriages to stillbirth to children with like disabilities. And so they were talking about that. And I was like you all are beautiful. You went through the most incredible things you can do as a woman, like give birth to a child. And so I took photos of them on Lake Superior. And I showed them to them and they're waiting seats, and they were like Laura oh my gosh, like, we had no idea like started crying. We feel so beautiful. And I was like, wow, oh my gosh, okay, like, you can do things for others with a camera. And like, I know how to use that. And like, no one's going to tell me what to do, Mike. Wow, this like really plays into my strengths as a person. And I might not be as stable like as having like, a 401k and like stability of like insurance. I have really bad insurance, but I'm gonna marry someone that has like an insurance. That's
why I think Dan, I'm
so I had like, prayed about it. He's loving, prayed about it. And
I came across this National Geographic competition, and they pick one out of 20,000 entries each year. And I was like, okay, Lord, if I am meant to be a photographer, I'm, I'm going to get published in National Geographic, if not, I'm going to be a teacher. And I'm like, way cool of whatever happens. And I ended up getting published National Geographic went to my advisor The next day, and I A week later, and I was like, so I'm going to change majors. And she said, Oh, to special education, because I had contemplated that. And I was like, Nope, I'm going to be a photographer. And she's like, oh, sweetheart, so you're almost so you're almost done with college, you should finish this. And I was like, No, because I won't love it. Like, I just won't. And I'm like, so what if I just wasted $30,000? Which, like, whole? don't advise, advise it, but I do advise it, do it? Yes, absolutely. waste that 30,000 if like you don't feel you're going to love what you do. So you don't end up at like 30s 40s 50s 60s like doing something that you're like, what the hell did I just do with my life? Like, what am I doing like Ray, who I find to be such an inspiration? Like she's ready to can you raise your hand for those? Yes, she's amazing. Like, I absolutely adore her. And I met her boutique. And we had a conversation and like, Man, this what she's like, I'm going to go to Paris by myself next week. And I'm like, hell yes, you are re like, Yes, you are. And like, surround yourself with like those people who are like, doing what they love and not afraid of it. Because you shouldn't be afraid to be yourself. Like you shouldn't be called brave for pursuing, like, who you want to be like, that's just social media. And that's just marketing time you like no, no, no, you need to have someone with you. No, no, you have to, like, marry someone to be okay, as a woman like, No, you don't, Dan, you're great. But if I was still single, I'd be like, yes, I'm gonna fuck up this world. It's gonna be great. Like, it's gonna be awesome. Like, find out who you are, find out what you want to be answer that question. But honestly, it doesn't need to be answered in 10 minutes, it can take years, take the time, like, we're not in a rush. Like you have the rest of your life to pursue what you love. Don't think you have to know about it
Jasna Burza 33:30
And I think that's the ultimate achievement in life is getting to know who you are. I mean, that's, that's brilliant. And that's why we're all here. I really believe that. For me, it's the feeling that I believe we're all born to live a life of light and ease. And I looked everywhere, and I looked at my life, and I was stressed and booked out and looked at other people who are majority of my friends were antidepressants. And I just thought there's something inherently wrong with that. There's a beautiful place for for Western medicine. But I think that something is happening. That's very dangerous in our society. And it was happening 10 years ago, and I think it has really blown up since so for me was an overwhelming sense of anxiety, and fear, and just just this lack of like living the life smelling the roses. And I really believe that we have to do them more now more than ever before. So for me was observing the such unhappiness, even though I was really stressed out, I felt happy. Even when I was going through my miscarriages, I found moments to be happy. And or find some kind of meaning in the in the process, contentment, not even happiness. And it really has evolved, I wanted I wanted to be the channel, I know I create a very safe space for people for whatever reason God has given me that. And I'll take that as a compliment. I think that's what it is, I pray. So for me, I you know, ask that I should even tonight I ask that I show up that whoever is here should receive exactly what they're supposed to receive. And people who are going to be listening to this. That's very important to me. And and I think that that all I'm just learning all the time, it's to continue to provide a safe space for people to be themselves and to have freedom to be themselves. So now I'm primarily do business coaching for entrepreneurs. And the struggle is the same the shiny objects, the overwhelm the stress, and we're supposed to be the happiest, we're doing what we love. We're creative. Yeah, we're so miserable, and so unhappy. And Instagram is becoming a very dangerous tool. And if we if not managed correctly, so I think it's it's not getting attached to the, the shiny object or the millions everyone that I meet, when they come to me say in four years, I want to be a millionaire help me get there. And I'm like, Okay, let's have a conversation about what that means. Because what we truly want is not millions, we may think we do, we want $60,000, and ability to travel freedom to do whatever the hell we want. And happiness. At the core of it. Most of us be really happy with that, now that we want more images, but I don't need a jet to be happy. I don't need a Porsche to be happy. And those are the things that are just our expression of ourselves. So I think it's a reminder for people to like what truly matters, money is not the answer. It's never going to be the answer. It's beautiful. Again, I'm the money person, I love it, I really should make it a we can give it away if you don't want it. But getting caught up and having the struggle for me, it's a pain to watch others go through that. So bringing the back to alignment, when they get to diamond money comes and the happiness comes in. I think I believe that we're in alignment when we are happy. This is something that we're really working on right now. We radiate I believe in energy, I believe in quantum field is that when I am in a good vibration, all of you are going to feel it when you're in my presence. So it's I'm responsible for the energy that I bring into the room.
Katrina Widener 37:24
So one of the ways that I kind of really nail down what I wanted to focus on, because that is like what we've been saying it's one of the hardest things to really figure out. I went back to this one compliment that an old friend had given me, he had just told me he's like, you know, you naturally know how to make someone feel loved in your presence. And I was like, Okay. And I was like that was not only obviously something I kept coming back to, but it meant so much to me. It wasn't just like this was a compliment that I was like, Oh, look at look at how good I am at this. It was something where it's like, this means more to me than anything else. And so I kept coming back to that and kept coming back to that. And literally up until two years ago, when I decided to be a life coach, I had always assumed and believed that I would be a stay at home mom. And I was like a career is just something that's getting me to that point. It's just what's happening in between now and I get married, and I live 100% off my husband's income and I don't need to ever work again. Right, please, Dear God, but that'd be the truth. And it was something where I was like, that was the only foreseeable way in my mind at that point of time how I could devote my life to making someone else feel loved. And when I realized that there was another route, and that there was another way that I could do that. And that I could actually make money from it. Like you were saying, like I would, my mind was blown. And so it just kept bringing me back to this is what I want to do. This is the core of my business. This is the core of the way that I live my life. And when it gets into the nitty gritty things of like, okay, should I offer this service or this service, it's like this is just all different funnels and different formats for me to do this one thing. And sometimes in my life, one formats going to work better than the other one, I'm going to be more aligned, I believe that we're constantly becoming more and more aligned with who we are, as we are constantly learning more and more about who we are. But for me, it really went back to that one compliment. And realizing that I could make that a career.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 39:24
That's awesome. And that's where we're going to end with my part of the podcast. Now we're going to open it all to you guys. And I know that you probably are have been thought thinking of things throughout this time. So Would anyone like to and you'll probably have to come up so we can hear your question. Would anyone like to ask any questions? Otherwise, obviously I asked Mr. Terry.
This was hinted at already bottom, I'm wondering how you deal with the aspect of comparison on social media, for business, especially because you might have business that has thousands of dollars, you and I are looking at what they're doing, or maybe similar size business, and then they get more response or something and then that adds pressure of like, Oh, this next post needs to be really good or something like that. So I was wondering how you deal with that?
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 40:13
It's a great question.
Katrina Widener 40:17
I can kind of jump in, right off the bat. For me, a lot of it is really, really, for one thing, trusting and trusting myself and trusting that what I'm doing in the way that I feel aligned with and the way that I need to do it is going to work out in the end, because obviously that competitive aspect is fear based. And I don't like living in a fear based area. I don't like living in a lack based mindset. I like trusting and I like moving forward and I like really trying to stay aligned with myself. That being said, obviously this happens to everyone. Like there's not an person forget entrepreneur, there's not a person online who is not looking someone else on social media and been like, dang, why can't I get that. And in those moments, that's when I do have to and I'm I'm an extrovert, I love talking to people, I love being out in meeting other people. But that's when I have to turn inward. And that's when I have to be like, Okay, this triggered me Why did this trigger me? What is the specific thing that I'm falling back into whether that's a pattern or a mindset pattern. And it's it's really journaling, meditating, spending time in nature and getting when I'm getting to that place where I'm really low, and I've been doing that too much, I have to really take a step back. I mean, a couple people here, I've mentioned this tonight on Instagram, I have posted three times in the last month, my business is busy. It's not a problem. But I needed that time because I was like, I feel like I am on the go and running all the time. But yeah, I still have a never ending to do list that I've probably forgotten to put 10 things on top of it. And so it's like, I needed to take that time and spend it with myself as opposed to looking outward all the time. And it's also understanding it's going to have ups and downs, it's going to flow and it's not always going to be feeling that way. And when I am feeling that way, remembering that will
come back around.
Laura Rae 42:16
I think that it's like a constant struggle that we're living in to kind of navigate that social media space. And when I catch myself comparing, which is that quote, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. You don't need to be better than anyone else on social media, you need to be better than the person you were yesterday. And so you need to start focusing like more on yourself, when I find myself like, Oh, I'm not that person. Or like, I'm not that person or I'm not that business. And I've done it myself. Damn right, you're not and it's a good thing you aren't because like, you're pretty awesome. And like, Who were you yesterday? And how can you be better tomorrow. So just focusing like more on yourself, like, be selfish and say like, that's fine. Like, you don't need to tear down other people on social media or their business even just mentally in your own head, like there's no, we don't have space for that. You don't need to do it. Like, you don't need to tear them down or rip them apart because they have an awesome social media falling, congratulations for that. But how can you do better, like, applaud them, maybe leave a comment and say like, how great they're doing. And then like go about your social media and your day. And if you find yourself uplifting yourself and uplifting others, and comparing less and like tearing other people down less whether it's in your head, or verbally, you're saying it, like, just take a step back and like I don't need to be better than them. I need to be better than who I was yesterday. And it just changes your mindset.
Jasna Burza 43:38
Oh my god, this is really a million dollar question, Jeremy. And it is I could go on and on and on and on. It is probably the number one thing and struggle that my clients go through. And these are women who are running sometimes like six, seven figure businesses, they're incredibly successful. It doesn't matter whether you're running a business, I think that's the culture of simply being a human and feeling Am I enough Am I like, I think it's completely normal and natural, that is going to occur, I have fallen into the trap. So many times, it's insane. So few things that were said all incredible and amazing. The most important thing for me is when I am triggered, I did an interview with with Portia Richardson last year. And she did something really interesting. She explained that there are smoky mirrors and clear mirrors. So when I'm comparing myself against or the trigger me in some way, if it's a clear mirror means like I'm envying, I want to be part of that. Instead of pulling them away and turning them into an enemy, I bring them closer, which means that if I believe that we're all all one that I don't create a separation anymore. If I'm happy for them, then that's comes back around again, I'm going to be a little warm, but it really works for me. So I will really engage with them. And I will say oh my god, I love that. And I really do very often like oh my god, how did they do that? I want to do that. That's not fair, I want to put an event like that. So I will say this is incredible. So I will really honor it. Because that's what I would want others to do for me and it goes against it's very difficult. But when I do it immediately would Could you tell that that just breaks the that barrier right away. So the first my first tip would be, leave a really genuine loving content, a comment on their on their, on on their post or whatever it is. And second insight is that I work with some of the, you know, biggest influencers, TV personalities, and people who are names I can't even share. And I know that Instagram is not but a highlight reel. I know for a freakin fact, I know that sometimes none of it is real. So I have to remind myself that sometimes they can be a whole lot of BS. And then I should never compare my own failures, someone else's successes or a highlight reel. Because it's so nice and easy to create a beautifully filtered and orchestrated picture. I mean, I just walked in front of that thing, thinking like I was in a fashion show posing, I'm going to use that on video and people be like, Oh my god, right? I don't want that to be I like I'll put a disclosure, but that's how easy it is to make somebody feel like, Oh my God, what a life that's really, really envious. So I'm going to Europe, I am a part of a traveling mastermind with I'm the only non millionaire in the group. And we're going to exciting place we're going to Monte Carlo and Paris. So people are going to be watching and and following their be like oh my god, I'm sure people like I want that. But what don't see that how much I cry every night because I miss my children. Right. And I will share that too. So you have to remember that nothing is always as golden as it seems. And that we are all having a human he truly a human experience. And then number three, if normally doesn't affect me because I can I can like if I'm aligned. If I'm in a state of like light, it doesn't bother me. But if it does start to bother me, I shut it off, I walk out because I know that I'm not at my highest level of service. And that's a spiral you get there. It only gets worse. Stop walk out going nature take a three day literally how yet how eight is three times a day I completely delete Instagram app like deleted. And that's been the greatest gift. Well, this is I'm a million dollar question. Thank you.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 47:54
Yeah, we posted a I think I posted something last week it says don't compare your behind the scenes to someone's house highlight reel I posted that. And I think a lot of people don't think about that. One of the things I always recommend is if there's a specific account that you're following that just makes you unhappy, just unfollow, like, you don't have to follow them, like, you know, or just mute them just like it. You don't have to do anything, you can just turn it off and take a break. And the other questions? Yes.
How do you get into alignment
every day? Or what are your questions and things that get you back into alignment? I
Jasna Burza 48:35
this is like that's my million. That's something that I am so passionate about. And I feel like it's I mean, if in a different life, if I ever pivot, I'm going to be a spiritual teacher, like literally because I'm becoming so low, it's scaring my husband. But for me, I started, I wake up every morning at 4am. So it's the only time that I'm alone. literally the only time in the day where I'm by myself, I'm an introvert and I need that time. If I don't have that time by myself, I so pulled I mean, I had two toddlers anywhere here small children, holy Hannah, like their worldwide and if I am not balanced, like they just suck me into an ether fighting my I want to crawl under a table and hide. And I think that's a natural response. Also human we don't like conflict, and they're constantly jumping on top of each other. So I when they wake before they wake up, I have to be aligned. I spend insane amounts of money. And in time investing in meditation, nature, time away, so I meditate every single day. And when I don't, my day is not the same. I pray I write. And if there's ever a moment where I start feeling anxious, I don't do anxiety. That makes sense. And I don't think this is going to really rub people a lot of people the wrong way. But I'm speaking my truth. I don't believe that daily anxiety, anxiety is normal. I believe that it's a state of state for a lot of people who really deal with it. And I think that sometimes you can, you really should get help. But for so many of us 60% of Americans are on anti anxiety meds. That's what I read the latest statistic, you can tell me that we all lie, there's something that wrong with us. I think it's being inundated with so much our bodies in mind simply cannot cope with that kind of information, or data or sensory stimuli. It's impossible. So I love to completely disconnect and I do visualizations. I mean I am I will go in nature by myself and I will hug the trees and telling you I'm really like total tree hugger, I will go and wrap myself around a tree like have it seen avatar. So I'll pretend like it's a while and then you know, and then I will remain imagine the light from the ground like a running through that tree. And like entering me I know it sounds crazy, but it works. So basically, it's whatever the hell works for sometimes I'll dance in my underwear to Frank Sinatra and like doing dishes, and it's like, whatever I need to get back into state of like, some days, it's a really killer workout, it changes. But Honest to God, I feel for me 80% of my life, is making sure I'm in alignment, because when I'm in alignment, everything works out. Miraculously, I'm an abraham hicks fan, the whole law of attraction, the consciousness, whatever, everything works, I'll see if there's one piece of advice or tip that I will share with everyone that I'm learning is that when we're aligned, every literally that the the you should read things by Joe dispenser, what happens is that we raise our own consciousness, there's actual scientific studies that when we feel lighter, that we vibrate at a higher level, and we attract the things that vibrate at a higher level as well, people. So people are not going to flip you off when you're happy. It just doesn't happen. Right? Or when they do, nothing's going to happen. You know, days when you really pissed off and out of alignment. Everything goes wrong that day. So I think that that's, that's I'm sorry, I'm like so passionate about dads like, that's what I would do.
Katrina Widener 52:32
I think you hit on a topic that we're all pretty, pretty, pretty passionate about, um, I posted something and I know Jenna re posted it, but it was alignment. It was about alignment and hustle. And I know she posted on the Instagram page. And that is something that I really, really believe in. hustling can make you money, but not as much money as alignment will make you and not as much money as alignment and hustle too. But it's when I first started really realizing that I was out of alignment was triggered by this article I read that talks about what moments do in your day. Do you like your Do you like yourself? When you're in them? What are you doing during your day when you're like, you know, I really love who I am, when I'm working with a client and we have an amazing breakthrough. Or when someone tells me a compliment or that I made them feel good about themselves. I love who I am when I am cuddling with my cat on the couch. I love who I am when I'm in nature or meditating like what are the moments when I really love who I am in those moments? And how do I create that more often? How do I incorporate that into my day more often. And it also, I have seriously noticed major life differences. I don't have bad days really anymore. I'll have a day where I mean, today at the gym, I had a couple issues. But headphones stopped working my hair binder broke. But that doesn't happen that often. To me, I don't get out of alignment like that very often. I don't snap it people anymore. I'm not the type of person where when I'm living some with someone and you say something that this is me off, I'm not just going to snap at you. I take a deep breath. And I'm like you know it. It doesn't matter. I don't like myself when I stand with people. So I don't do it. And it's reminding myself all the time. When do I like who I am? And when don't do I like who I am, how can I do more of the one and not the other. And that's like how I tried to do it every single day. And really be aware and pay attention to because that's I think one of the biggest problems that we have in this world is we are not paying attention to what we're doing. We are running on autopilot, we're not being mindful. We're like, I'm going to work every day at this nine to five job because I've been told I was a magazine journalist, marketing specialist. And so Social Media Manager because I was good at reading and writing. It wasn't like even like, I could help people. I was like this is going to get me from point A to point B, I'm good at reading and writing this will do it until I stopped and I was like No, I can't run on autopilot, I have to make really impactful and important decisions every single day. Otherwise, my life will just be running on autopilot for the rest of my life. Which is depressing. And so it was really saying when do I like myself?
Katrina Widener 55:15
When don't I like myself?
How can I do this more?
Laura Rae 55:20
I have a very simple answer. And it's just take a deep breath and ask yourself why. Like, if you wake up in the morning, or it's like you're going through something in that day, and you feel anxiety or you feel stress, or you're like, Oh my gosh, like I'm really emotional. I just don't feel like I'm doing good. Why don't you feel that way? For example, something like, as simple as like, your house is a mess. And you're like cleaning and you're like I only have an hour before I have to go to this. Well, why are you stressed? And if it's because you're cleaning? Why are you cleaning? Because if it's to make yourself feel better about being at home, like, then it's only a why that like you're trying to do something like you don't have to clean? Also a Why is to like when I have like my busy weeks and like my long days at work. I'm like, why am I in pursuit of what I'm doing. And for me at the core, it's to help others. And so I'm like, Okay, take a deep breath, you're going to help people, you're going to be able to do this, it's going to be okay. So the power of why there's a book by Simon cynic. And I believe that's the title and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's called the power of y by Simon Sonic. And I would absolutely recommend anyone read that. And the second thing that helps me like align my days in my life and my moments is one question Some people ask is like, who inspires you most. And sometimes I want to whisper it, but I've gotten to the point of saying it out loud. And I'm like, it's myself. Like, I my future self inspires me like who I want to be tomorrow, like who I want to be in five years who I want to be in 10 or 20 years inspires me and I'm like, okay, you're gonna have to get through this, like, rough month, or like rough year or this moment, but like, you're just going to and also things are just feelings. Emotions are quality indicators on the quality of the thoughts that you're having. And so if you're feeling anxious, or you're feeling like overwhelmed, it's possibly because of things that you're just thinking about in your head and like just get them out, write them on paper and go about your day. And then just answer your why. And you'll feel a lot better. At least I do, and it doesn't cost anything.
Jenna Redfield of Twin Cities Collective 57:20
So that's going to be the end of the podcast just for time sake. If you guys have any more questions, you can come and talk to these ladies after I'm sure they'll answer your questions. But thank you guys so much for being here for our first ever podcast live. Thank you guys so much for joining us.
Thank you guys for having us.
Jenna Redfield is the leader of the Twin Cities Collective, the largest resource in the Twin Cities for bloggers, small business, entrepreneurs & creatives.
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